Something bad that is called good out of politeness or timidity.
OriginThe origin of the phrase is the George du Maurier cartoon "True Humility", printed in the British satirical magazine Punch, on 9th November 1895. The cartoon gives fuller insight into its meaning, which relies to some extent on an appreciation of irony.
TRUE HUMILITY.
Right Reverend Host. "I’m afraid you’ve got a bad Egg, Mr. Jones!"
The Curate. "Oh no, my Lord, I assure you! Parts of it are excellect!"
We use this term quite a lot in my family being avid readers of Punch. (Library collections are great are they not?)
I had a rather disappointing Friday at work so I was glad to wake up to a new day, new possibilities. The kids had a good sleep and swimming lessons went well.
I ventured out to Mt Eden to see a lady who is going to teach me how to felt. She was displaying her wares at a craft fair - some lovely stuff - and it was exciting to see what we're going to be making. Parking is an abomination though. It took me 20 minutes to find one a block away. Not really what I wanted when I have Mr6 and Miss-I-can't-walk-my-legs-hurt-carry-me 3. We returned home via Nosh having picked up a few items of a foodie nature for lunch.
So far so good.
Then Mr6 remembered he had an Important Notice in his school bag and brought it out to me. According to this he is either below or well below the National Standards for reading, writing and maths. I knew he was struggling with reading and we've been working on that but it looks like everything else is an issue as well. I find it so disheartening and wonder what I did wrong. Should I have had children earlier? Should I have not gone back to work and put him daycare? Did I drink to much coffee when he was in utero? The report has things parents can do to help and I am happy to try and do these (already do some) ... but when I have no idea. My melodramatic streak thinks I should just pack up all my craft stuff and give it up for the next few years since I won't have any time to do it at all. I half expect I shall have to give up work but having signed a 3 semester contract I don't think that's a possibility. We see the teacher on Thursday. I hope to find out what the school is doing about it. It doesn't help my attitude when I find spelling mistakes in the report they sent home. I just don't know what to do. Should we send him to a special school? Get him extra lessons? How is all this supposed to happen when I work 9-5?!
So. Feeling sorry for myself.
I tried to fix my felted slippers and managed to shrink them so much they are now too small! I will either have to give them to someone else or turn them into a pin cushion. I did have some success in making some for the kids though.
Here is one for Mr6 before it got felted. Looks like a Yeti foot!
Here it is being felted.
Here are the products I made.
I will need to edge stitch the children's slippers and may decorate them a bit. As you see I made a scarf/collar as well. I have every book out of MPOW's library on felting and have been looking at Youtube tutorials too so decided to give a simple scarf a go. This is the series I used as instruction... this particular one has the order of the tutorials in the comments. The one we're going to do in the class is much more complex using some different fibres, silk - even has a pocket!
I didn't realise how much shrinkage would occur so it could have been a bit longer, but that is all part of the learning process!
Looking forward to my dinner and trying not to stress about things.
Oh Penny ... that is not an 'important notice' any parent wants to receive. Don't beat yourself up ... you are a fantastic parent and I don't think going back to work can be the problem. (I'm saying this from my very qualified position of having never met you or your kids but only through what you share here on this blog! LOL) But seriously ... parents who read have children who read ... it's natural, unless there is something else preventing this learning from taking place. Hopefully the school will put some good plans into place to help him. One thing I do suggest is that you sit down with a book in front of him and ask him what he sees ... and then 'what are the letters doing?' ... just to check they aren't jumping around the page for him ... it's really hard to learn when things don't stay still on the page. Not saying he's dyslexic but it often isn't picked up because the kid doesn't know how to explain what they see. Sorry about the long comment ... you brought out the teacher in me! Oh and ... I remember the miss I can't walk my legs hurt stage far too well! And when I have a bit more spare time I'll be coming back for some felting tips. :o)
ReplyDeleteHi Penny,
ReplyDeleteIf you need some resources or things to support Mr6 with - am more than happy to send some things your way that may help. Amy
I'm sorry to hear about the important notice, you feel so helpless at moments like that.
ReplyDeleteBeverley's suggestion sounds good, I'm surprised at how common dyslexia is and Luke's reading over my shoulder telling me that he didn't learn to read or write properly until 12 for a whole number of reasons including poor eye coordination and dyslexia.
As he's just got a new job as a lead consultant (small brag, forgive me) it hasn't really held him back and he reads a lot for pleasure.
You've given him the good foundations and the love of reading and I'm sure he wants to learn so having all that he'll get there.
Hugs though, it's moments like these being a parent is hard. We've been struggling with Jacob's behaviour all week.
Hi Penny. Hugs and sympathy. Just curious, have most people in your family read "Dairy of a Nobody" as well?...it strikes me that a Punch-reading family would.
ReplyDeleteI have a smart and happy kid who has a developmental trajectory that doesn't match that expected in formal education. I'd love to share some of my experience via email - kathryn.greenhill at gmail if you are interested.
I would bet that without your very good parenting and what you have already done *right*, the school numbers would be lower.
For the working thing? You need balance - whatever works for your family and you. I cut down my work hours drastically when Mr12 entered High School, because we wanted to get the foundations right for him - and I still feel bitterly disappointed in myself professionally and a bit lost for doing so. From a "getting the school numbers up and keeping the kid happy and believing that he can learn" point of view, it has been a success. Worth it? I don't know and cannot... just like you cannot know whether cutting down your work hours / decreasing your craft hours / would make a jot of difference. It is possible that it wouldn't. It is possible that it would...but you cannot know and continuing to do what you are doing may well be the best balance.
I would suggest that you look into setting up an IEP, which I can see they have in NZ.
http://www.minedu.govt.nz/NZEducation/EducationPolicies/SpecialEducation/FormsAndGuidelines/IEPGuidelines.aspx . I explain it to my son as a plan for round pegs who are expected to fit into square holes. The aim of the IEP is to make the hole a bit rounder. If your son's testing results are low, then he is probably a bit too round for the school's square hole, so it is worth thinking about what you and the school can do to make the hole rounder for him.
Hi Penny
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you had an 'important notice' that contained news that was a 'not very nice' surprise for you. Good on you for going to meet with the school. Remember that the system doesn't always work that well for everyone and it may be that they need to look at how they are doing things at 'their' end. Mr 6 may learn differently to how they teach the masses. You seem like a fabulous parent to me and I'm sure your input at home is wonderful.
Isn't it interesting how, as mothers, we automatically default to the 'what have we done wrong' setting.
Don't do that girlfriend!!
Penny some good advice from the other lovely readers here. When I was readng your post I felt for you. I am not a mum but I am a woman(cliche) and I was reading your post I could see you were beating yourself up about this and looking at what you had done wrong so to speak. Bev made a good point you working full time is not the reason for this, I know its a dreadful feeling but children do learn differently, eespond and react differently.
ReplyDeleteI think after Thursday you will have a better idea what your next plan of attack will be and how you can help Mr6. But whatever happens next do not give up some of your creativity time. I think you need something for you Penny, whether it is work or crafting of felting, you need to keep an element of that there. When you don't have something like that to look forward too the challenges ahead can bog you down.
BTW cute fleting products and as you said the shrinkage etc etc is all part of the learning process.
Thinking of you Penny. Have sent you an email :-)
ReplyDeleteAhh I get the my legs are hurting and I can't walk ALLL the time from Aaron - even when I ask him to sit up to the table!!! Sigh. Hopefully it's just a passing stage!
Cool felting :-) Hope the experimenting helps for your future projects.
Chin up :-)
Hugs R
Don't panic yet about the National Standards stuff. From my reading on the subject (not that I am any expert), boys are often take longer to "get" things than girls, especially at that young age. One of our lecturers at uni has some interesting thoughts on boys and learning (Educating Boys by Michael Irwin) if you haven't already read it.
ReplyDeleteAbove all, don't beat yourself about working (and crafting). I know that Mr6 will get the support and love he needs from his family.
Wow, a stressful time for you :(
ReplyDeleteI don't know the first thing about kidlets, but I do know that in order to look after them you have to look after yourself too. Balance is hard to find (*so hard*!) but I hope you'll find a way to get a bit of all of the things that are important to you.
Oh, and I see that you already involve your children in your crafting, so it's certainly not a selfish activity! Maybe you could even find more ways of making it a family/social activity?
HUGS, Penny! I can completely understand why you are feeling the way you are, as I would be saying the exact same things if I were in your shoes. It's easy to want to find somebody to blame, and naturally the "Mummy Guilt" makes that person you! But like the others have said, you haven't done anything wrong (especially not going back to work, so don't let anybody throw that one in your face). All kids are different and learn differently. As Sharon has said, boys often take longer to reach the "levels" that are expected of them, and especially at age 5-6. I am positive that Tim will soon catch up to his peers. If the school has noticed that he is behind, then hopefully they will be doing all they can to help him. And you are a concerned and responsible parent who will do all she can to help (but you do not have to give up your own life in order to help him). Small things can make a difference, and repetition and consistency will be important. Read with him everyday, and encourage him to point out letters and numbers around him as you are out and about. My boys like us to ask them "maths questions" when we are waiting at restaurants or while driving in the car. It can be tiresome for us parents, but it's encouraging for them. We sometimes add up the numbers on letterboxes on our way to/from school. Allowing the boys to read books of their choosing has also helped, as sometimes the books they bring home from school are pretty naff!!!
ReplyDeleteAlso think Bev's suggestion is a good one, even just to rule dyslexia out ...
Hang in there, I know it seems impossible now but things WILL get better! You are a great mum, don't beat yourself up. Tim's a great kid, too. He'll get there in time.
Penny! you haven't done anything wrong. I think Mr6 is so very lucky to have you and Rod for parents, because you will do your very best for him....sounds like early days, so make some appointments, get some help and go from there. Parenting is the hardest thing in the world - always throwing up challenges.
ReplyDeleteBTW hadn't heard the term curate's egg, but I bet my dad has - I'm going to test, er ask him next time I see him.
As for felting - I knitted some squares last winter to felt a bag - but couldn't bring myself to do the *felting* part - it seemed to go against everything I had ever heard you should do with wool! But I should have a go....thanks for the inspiration. Wish I was there to give you a hug. Take care and don't be so hard on yourself. x
DO NOT STRESS. At 6 Elliot would sometimes refuse to do classwork and lie down under his desk and go to sleep. We even took him to a paediatrician because of his 'behaviour' and the 'trouble' he was having at school - not interested in anything. We just plodded on. Now at 10 he devours books, is good at maths and is above average at everything. With no intervention from us (apart from doing the usual homework etc). Boys are not like girls and there is much thought that says they shouldn't even start school til 6. Do not stress - he will come around. You a re a better parent than most!
ReplyDeleteHi Penny
ReplyDeleteJust catching up with all your wonderful posts. I do read them, just often have trouble loading blogspot & getting it to accept my comments without crashing.
Some excellent words and advice from the other mothers here already.
Please don't beat yourself up about not doing enough, working etc. You are an amazing person & mother.
I'm sitting here thinking of a couple of my adult nephews (now in their 30s), & my cousin who is dyslexic. Once the school etc. identified the learning issues and interventions were put in place, all those boys moved forward with their learning, and later on completed degrees at university & have great careers now too.
Man, mainstream education does annoy me at times! One size does not fit all. We all learn in different ways, without a doubt.
Hi Penny
ReplyDeleteJust catching up with all your wonderful posts. I do read them, just often have trouble loading blogspot & getting it to accept my comments without crashing.
Some excellent words and advice from the other mothers here already.
Please don't beat yourself up about not doing enough, working etc. You are an amazing person & mother.
I'm sitting here thinking of a couple of my adult nephews (now in their 30s), & my cousin who is dyslexic. Once the school etc. identified the learning issues and interventions were put in place, all those boys moved forward with their learning, and later on completed degrees at university & have great careers now too.
Man, mainstream education does annoy me at times! One size does not fit all. We all learn in different ways, without a doubt.
On another subject - I'm v. impressed with your felting. Miss 3 must be over the moon with her butterfly slippers. Very flash indeed!
Sorry about that "important notice". Don't beat yourself up about working; but is there somewhere up there that offers brain gym? Try to get T tested by a Speld person - that's how we got onto brain gym and I'm sure that it helped my son.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I am often inclined to send notices back to school with corrections made!