Thursday, April 17, 2008

Dinner time conversation

Picture the family eating dinner calmly together. Mum and Dad talking about something inconsequential.
DS bursts into heart rending sobs.
All turn to look at him in surprise.

Me: What's the matter sweetheart?
DH: What's up mate?
DS between sobs: I love you Mummy! Don't die! I don't want you to die! I love you!

Me taken aback to say the least: Um... I wasn't planning on dying just yet darling.

Later I tried to find out where that came from. I'm still not sure but I think I'm going to have to watch what I say in terms of my death.

Death is something my family aren't afraid to talk about - in fact we have a very pragmatic approach to it and sometimes even joke about it - but I think DS might be starting to understand what it actually means.


  1. We have been through this with Ethan. He knows about death and what it means, we never hid that from him. But at about age 4 1/2, he started to get upset that we would die. We had similar conversations. It's hard, but something kids go through I guess.

  2. yes its funny how what we can say is picked up on. I do remember saying the same to my parents at a young age. Then daire I say it as a horrible teenager it was more screaming at them I wish tehy would drop dead! So swings and roundabouts. Now I am at the stage where I dont like to think about my own parents mortality.

  3. Anonymous7:28 pm

    Oh yes the whoile death and dying issue. We have always been open with our biys too and I think it has paid off. Tobyn seems to be dealing with Poppa's passing really well. You are doing a greta job and I am sure things will come together for him with out too much trauma.

  4. Anonymous8:18 pm

    poor thing it must have been on his mind.

  5. I have never hidden death either - and it has caused a lot of angst over the years with the big boy. It is a hard thing for them to deal with (us too!!) but I don't think it helps if you try for the easy answers. You hope it is a long way away but you never know.

  6. What I have to look forward to aye! Interesting what they come out with seemingly out of the blue isn't it. Hope it doesn't give him nightmares! Hugs from me.

  7. I agree that honesty is the best approach. I think that lying about it (or omiting parts) can make the whole concept even more confusing. We have been totally honest with Keegan (since my grandfather passed away a month ago). He just asked me yesterday if he cold take his blankie to heaven with him. I told him we can't take anything to heaven with us. He then started to tear up. I just reassured him that we wouldn't be going to heaven for a long time (all the while praying that it wouldn't be for a long time).

  8. Anonymous7:38 am

    I agree with everyone honest communication gives our kids a their sad/anxious feelings in a loving supported environment.

  9. Aww poor wee sausage. I still get the sobs from my nearly 12 yr old on the same thing.