Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Sometimes it can be hard

to know where to spend your charity dollars... but today it wasn't.


My shampoo is trying to brain wash me. But I like the swirl around the box. Excuse the bad photo.
Layout and some cards I've made. I'm in a flowery mood I think.

So the long weekend came and went. Awful weather and we didn't go away which judging by the traffic reports was probably just as well. Feeling kinda blah from lack of sleep (thanks to DD), and other stuff. .. friend's marriage breaking up, feeling sad about that. Feeling sad about this mother who died while breastfeeding. My alumni magazine came and has an article about great and exciting things some graduates are doing... feeling very mumsy and drab.

Some days I think I'm just not cut out for this motherhood lark. The days when I need to put myself in time out because of my grumpiness. I hate myself when that happens. Yet I love my kids and wouldn't exchange them for anything.

I need to get over myself.

10 comments:

  1. Good to see you are getting into the pink mood - Lydia is looking gorgeous. Tim tams must be good too.

    On sadder news - horrible about that poor Mum and baby, just horrible - and friends breaking up is tough too. We need to get out for another walk somewhere (if only the weather would cooperate!!).

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  2. Penny I hear you. Being a Mum is the toughest job in the world.

    It doesn't help when other sad things are happening around us.

    But you are doing a great job. Hang in there.

    I too was sadened by that poor family who have lost a mother and child. Absolutely devastating.

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  3. Anonymous1:00 am

    Gorgeous vision in pink!

    Trina said it so well and to add, unfortunately the world around us often does not celebrate what a beautiful and hard job Mums are doing...
    And as in any other job we have moments were we feel , wah, what am i doing this for...only as a Mum it's never hard to FEEL why we are doing it.
    I think it's partly also a seasonal thing, in germany we call it spring -tiredness. The adjustment to all the ups and downs in the weather/temperature and in NZ it is combined with the end of the year syndrome - a bit like a double whammer. I know heaps of people who feel a bit low at the moment... Sending some aroha your way Penny!
    *pins up a hug for you*

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  4. Anonymous5:07 am

    I have been in slump lately too. Being a mom is so difficult sometimes. It's hard to give so much of yourself to your children when you feel like you hardly have anything left to give. Hopefully the sun will come out and things will look up.

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  5. Anonymous8:20 am

    It's easy to fall into that slump, Penny. You're not alone. I throw my Alumni magazine away now, because I used to wish I was doing something else (postgraduate, thesis, research, etc) and it made me feel bad for choosing a career that allows me to be at home more often ... and I should not feel bad about that! When other sad things happen (like that tragic death of the mum and baby) it can make everything cloud over and feel drab. Hang in there, the sun will shine again soon.

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  6. Will definitely be supporting 'charity' later... those Tim Tams look YUM! I've had a few of those blah days lately too Penny but trust me it does get better again! Hang in there :)

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  7. Anonymous6:18 pm

    yes i saw the article about the mum and bub and was so upset, just dreadful. Love the pink time tams and that layout of DD is gorgeous!!

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  8. Penny, that layout of Lydia is gorgeous. Mmmm, Timtams, I haven't seen those, probably a good idea if I don't actually.

    I hope your last day or two have been better, those days are hard, I know what it's like. Those are the days you just have to be selfish, for you, and for the kids, walk out and leave the washing, gets some fresh air, etc. Then when hubby gets home nip out for some time to yourself. Do you know how long it took me to realise that myself, my boys are nearly 9, and 7, and it's only now I take my own advice.

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  9. Anonymous1:26 am

    Penny, allow yourself to feel blah from time to time and don't beat yourself up for feeling that way. You do so much for your kids it's no wonder you feel drained and flat occasionally. And remember, many of us do think being a mum is a great career choice (even some of us who don't have children ourselves)!

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  10. I have days like that also, Penny. I feel so bad if I lose my temper with the kids esp because they are still so little. I always apologize hoping that will lessen the impact...

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