We've ended up in Holland

You may have read this little story before.  Now I find it even more poignant because this is now our journey.  It looks as though Mr9 has dyspraxia.

Welcome to Holland

taken from this site

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this…

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!" you say. "What do you mean, Holland?" I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy.

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to some horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy a new guidebook. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around, and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills, Holland has tulips, Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

The pain of that will never, ever, go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.

Written by Emily Perl Kingsley

While this story was written with more severe disabilities in mind, it does reflect the feelings that have been running through my heart.

Don't know what dyspraxia is?  No, we didn't either.  It's not something that is discussed as much as dyslexia, autism, or ADHD.  The incidence of dyspraxia in New Zealand hasn't been determined but could be between 6 -10%. 

This is the explanation for children on the Dyspraxia Support Group of New Zealand's website.

The human brain is made up of lots of connections that are like power lines. These also connect with your body.

When you have dyspraxia some of these connections are not working properly.

This means your body can find it difficult to do what your brain tells it to.

In order to make your body do what your brain is telling it to, you may have to practice doing things a lot.

This is why you may find it difficult to:

• learn new things
• concentrate
• handwrite
• speak clearly
• speak your ideas
• get dressed
• think fast
• play sports
• organise ideas

Having dyspraxia does not mean that you are not intelligent.  A lot of people who have dyspraxia are very intelligent.

It just means it may take you longer to learn how to do things and to remember how to do things you have already learned.

How does it happen? This is unclear.  The books and websites I've been reading don't have a definitive answer. 

"According to the Dyspraxia Foundation, dyspraxia is said to be the result of an immaturity in the development of the neurons or nerve cells in the brain, rather than brain damage.

For most people with the condition, there is no obvious cause. There are many suggestions as to why this might have occurred – perhaps lack of oxygen at a crucial period in pregnancy, or even a viral infection at the time, around the fifth week, when the baby’s nervous system is beginning to form. A genetic element may be involved. There could be an inherited tendency in the family towards similar neurological disorders."

Eckersley, J., (2011). Coping with Dyspraxia. London: SPCK, p.2 

How did we find out?  Mr9 met all his developmental milestones in terms of crawling, walking, talking etc so it wasn't until school that we came across some indications of something awry because his learning is affected.  His Kip McGrath teacher was the person who picked it up.  Looking back I can see now there were indications prior to school, but we didn't recognise them for what they were.

Photo Credit: Plamen Stoev via Compfight cc 

At this point in time we are gathering information together to get some assessments happening.

I am still learning about what this will mean for us.  I am very grateful that this is not a life threatening disease.  I am grateful that in most areas Mr9 is a normal healthy, happy boy.  He just faces some challenges that other children don't.  Because it doesn't show on the outside, it is difficult for others to realise there is something different.

I don't want to over dramatise the situation or begin to define him by his dyspraxia.

I don't want other people to do this either. 

My research so far has indicated that on the spectrum of dyspraxia, Mr9 is probably not too badly affected, but until the assessments are completed there are a whole lot of things I don't know.  Fear, uncertainty and doubt (FUD) keep coming round to bother me.  I'm not sure how this is going to work at his school, with his teachers.  It would seem there have been instances of other children at school picking on him because of his clumsy ways and his differences. What about higher education? What about...

I'd appreciate your understanding while we learn about Holland. It's not where we expected to be.  It's not where we chose to be. But it is where the lines of our lot have fallen.

Photo Credit: Vainsang via Compfight cc

Robo-me

One of the difficult things when sewing for myself is getting the fit right. A sewing mannequin assists with the process but they are very expensive and not something I can consider at the present time. So I decided to make this.

DH was enlisted to help me. Much joking about kinkiness ensued.  Wearing a garbage bag isn't the nicest thing to do.  It gets very hot!  Just after this photo I ran out of duct tape, so DH had to go on a mercy dash to get some more.  

He did offer to drive me in my semi-naked-duct-tape-suit but I could barely walk. Actually, I couldn't even bend to sit.  Just as well no call of nature was required while he was out. I lay on the bed like some zombie with rigor mortis to await his return.

 

Once the duct tape supply was replenished, I somehow got myself upright again and the wrapping continued.  Until finally, the Robo-me version emerged. DH decided to use a colour over his flash to make me glow.  I think I look like something from a 60s sci-fi movie!

Here she is, stuffed as hard as I could get it with plastic bags. There are heaps inside there. I don't want to think about how many!  But better inside Robo-me than released into the environment.

What to call her? Any suggestions?!

I Tri'd

I you were looking for me on March 2nd 2013, you would have found me at Lake Tikitapu, Rotorua, for the Bissell Women's Series of sprint triathlons.

I know... if you'd told me that this time last year I would have said you were bonkers.  But back in January a friend created a Facebook group to encourage us to join in.  I mentioned this to Husband who laughed.  I'll admit, that made me a bit cross.

I've been trying to get to 5km in running for 3 years now.  It's ridiculous how long it's taking me but I have all kinds of excuses that sound perfectly reasonable.

So I joined the group and committed. I turn 40 this year so it seemed like a good way to welcome in the new decade.  I had 6 weeks to train; people told me that this was do-able.

And so it began.  The training I mean.  My plan included doing something everyday except Sunday.  I mostly achieved that.  I started cycling to work every day I could.  The weather has been brilliant from that perspective!  I got a concession card for the swimming pool. I ran with the C25K app.

March 2 dawned after a fitful sleep and by 7am we were at the lake setting up transition.



There were 8 of us in our group.



After a brief warmup the triathlon participants traipsed down to the swim start.

 

I was in Wave E. We had to swim 300metres. It's not a long swim and I'd done it several times in the pool, but the big red buoy seemed very far away that morning!

 

This was the first time I'd done a swim like this and I found myself beginning to panic due to nerves, the proximity of everyone else beside me and behind me, and I couldn't see very far in the water. My heart was pounding and I couldn't get my breath or swimming rhythm right. The closeness of the other swimmers meant I swallowed several gulps of water instead of air. So I turned onto my back and backstroked for a while, then breaststroked most of the way. This slowed my swim time down but meant I stopped freaking out so much.



Heading out to transition I felt pretty bummed but had to keep going. Next was the bike part. It was 9km, the same distance I bike to work. We headed down Tarawera Rd and turned around at the Buried Village to come back up. There was a pretty steep hill part on the way back but I pedaled all the way up.  My time for this part was around the same time I do for the ride to work.

 

Back in transition again I gulped back some watered down powerade and headed into the running/walking part (5.5km). My plan was to run in 20 minute blocks broken by fast walking.



As it turned out I ended up walking about half, running about half. It is a lovely trail around the lake, mostly shaded with big trees and glimpses of the water. There are some uneven parts and small steps which I walked over because I was afraid of hurting my ankle again. As it was I nearly fell twice while running by tripping on roots. I was so happy to see the big red arch! The organiser of the Facebook group, CP (who had already finished 15th), ran with me part of the last stretch.



And I made it!

 

Will I do another? The answer is yes, but maybe not in the next few weeks! It would be quite fun to do as an annual thing. I'd like to improve my time, especially on the swim and run part.  Maybe you will join me?  The good thing about this kind of event is the nice non-competitive vibe.  Both DH and I commented on the huge variety of women participating.  There were all kinds of ages, shapes, sizes and abilities.  It was a very positive atmosphere with lots of encouragement.

My thanks to CP who got me motivated, the other girls in our group who gave encouragement, the 2 lecturers in sport from MPOW who gave me encouragement and advice.  And biggest thanks of all to my dear husband who despite his initial reaction gave me lots of encouragement, got my bike sorted out, drove me down there and back and took pictures. He is a keeper for sure.

Vintage Patterns

Some time ago my Mum went back to Australia for a funeral of a relative.  In the cleaning up that goes on after such an event she salvaged some vintage patterns for me!  Thanks Mum!

As far as I know, these are from the Australian Home Journal, a publication that the marvellous Trove has accessible online in digitised form.  (If you are looking for vintage knitting instructions, this is an excellent source by the way).

Unfortunately the digitised record only goes up to 1952 so I can't work out what date these patterns are from.  I think they are most likely from the later 1950s but I can't be sure.  If anyone knows, I'd love to learn the details.

This one is a blouse and skirt combo.  I think the blouse has kimono sleeves.  The detailing on the skirt is neat.

This one didn't have an envelope. The sweetheart neckline is lovely.

The sizing on the pattern is too small for me regrettably but I'm going to attempt to draft a version in my size.  That will be a major learning curve!

Arthur joins the family

Anyone who follows me on Twitter will have realised I have a "thing" about squids. The giant and colossal kind.

Mr9 is a keen student of them also, and received a plushie colossal squid with matching mug for Christmas which Santa had got from Te Papa.

So when I was looking through the sewing blogs I follow and saw this, I knew what one of my holiday projects was going to be.

Thus Arthur the giant squid came to stay.  Named Arthur as the latin name for giant squids is Architeuthis (arch-ee-tooth-us).

Arthur is a comfy body pillow. I suggested a bean bag but both children agreed that he should be a pillow.  A time share arrangement is currently being initiated to prevent the fighting that began as soon as he was finished.

He has an inner pillow (a gut sac) to facilitate his cleaning. This did make the project slightly more tricky since I had to put a zip in his mouth part area rather than just sew up the stuffing inside him.  However, I have learnt from bitter experience that there will be the inevitable snot/vomit/food/other mess that will get on his outer skin so I'd like to be able to put most of him in the washing machine.


Arthur enjoys a swing. 

Arthur thinks he could come camping with us. Somehow I don't think so.

Should you wish to make a squid, there are good instructions here.  I made mine larger than this though.  I got most of the supplies from Geoffs Emporium, a surplus store and I thought I would record what I used in metric for the benefit of most of the world who uses this rather than imperial. (Don't get me started).

Arthur took about:
3m of fleece for the outer part ($7.00 per metre)
2m of the cotton fabric for the underside of the tentacles (think this was around $5 a metre)
2 squares of white felt, one of black felt for the eyes (.60cents)
and a HUGE amount of fibre fill for the stuffing... my mum had a whole lot of quilt wadding she wanted to get rid of so that went in. Plus half a bag that I had left.  Plus 1kg and a bit of some bags I got from Spotlight.

#blog12daysxmas 5th Jan

And so we come to the end of the 12 days of Christmas.

Miss5 went off to a birthday party this morning having gone early to the shops with me to obtain a gift. Nothing quite like being organized is there?!

It has been a gorgeous summer day, not a cloud in the sky and a pleasant breeze to make the laundry dry super quick. I love the crisp feel and sun cooked smell of the clean clothes when you bring them in from the line.

The courgette plant is starting to get away on me a bit so I made some pickle. It turned out a bit saltier than I intended but will be okay I think. Chutney is planned for tomorrow.

Iced coffee pops were made and consumed by adults.

The children are spending the next week with their grandparents up north so their bags have been packed in preparation for the trip. It is strange without them but with both of us back at work next week I'm grateful they will have some time to holiday with their grands while the grandparents are still able, healthy and hearty.

Best wishes to my blog readers for the New Year!

#blog12daysxmas 4th Jan

Quietly productive day at work editing videos and keeping to myself. I am irrationally mildly irritated by the fact there are people who want to come and use the library at this time of year.. I mean, why? Well, some do appear to. Some are doing work, others are face booking and you tubing. Nothing else is open on campus including the coffee cart and I keep forgetting to bring my decent coffee in. Maybe that's the reason for my irritation.

My day was brightened by the family coming and having lunch with me after they'd been to MOTAT. (Another reason to be irritated by work.. Missing out on family outings. If I had more leave available I could have been with them. Oh well, I get to have some leave in a weeks time).

We spent the evening at the park with some friends. Miss5 is turning 6 on Monday and some of her mates were in town (the curse of having a January birthday is that most of your friends go on holiday around the party time). So we got takeaways and headed for the park with dessert for everyone. The wind was chilly but the kids didn't care.

#blog12daysxmas 3 Jan | Books from 2012

Con has posted her reading list for 2013 - as usual I bow to her voracity and ability to achieve so many books read in a year.  Nonetheless, here is mine.

In general I found all of these books in my library - Auckland Libraries to be precise.  I rely heavily on their hold system to get the titles I want from all around the city.  If they ever start to change for this service (which is a possibility given that some of the old regions used to) I will be highly displeased.

I did buy a few books this year.  I try and avoid doing so because I have limited book shelf space.  However, with the Kindle app on the iPad and now that I have the Kobo Glo ereader I may buy more books.  We shall see how that goes.  I'm already using the Overdrive ebooks from the library on the Kobo.

This year I joined Goodreads which has proved to be a useful tool for me to find books I want to read and to keep track of those I have read.  I'm using it to help me write this post as well as my reading history on my library account.  There may be some errors due to my inputting but in general this should be a reasonable summary of my reading activity.

January (10)

Cryoburn by Lois McMaster Bujold
State of wonder by Ann Patchett
Brothers in arms by Lois McMaster Bujold
The Vor game by Lois McMaster Bujold
The story of Beautiful Girl by Rachel Simon
Culinary adventures in Marrakech by Peta Mathias
Corrag by Susan Fletcher
The marriage artist : a novel by Andrew Winer
Maelstrom by Anne McCaffrey and Elizabeth Ann Scarborough
Deluge by Anne McCaffrey, Elizabeth Ann Scarborough 

February (6)

The crimson rooms by Katherine McMahon
Jamrach's menagerie by Carol Birch
Rick Stein's Far Eastern odyssey
To the end of the land by David Grossman ; translated from the Hebrew by Jessica Cohen
Periodic tales : the curious lives of the elements by Hugh Aldersey-Williams
We'll meet again by Lily Baxter. 

March (5)
Stoked by Al Brown ; photography by Kieran Scott
The Scottish prisoner : a novel by Diana Gabaldon
Beauty and the werewolf by Mercedes Lackey 
Legacy by Lois McMaster Bujold
Passage by Lois McMaster Bujold

April (6)
Horizon by Lois McMaster Bujold 
The worst jobs in history : two thousand years of miserable employment by Tony Robinson, David Willcock
A year in the scheisse : getting to know the Germans by Roger Boyes 
The olive season : amour, a new life and olives too by Carol Drinkwater
The painted lady by Maeve Haran
The man who broke into Auschwitz by Denis Avey with Rob Broomby

May (1)
The moon maze game by Larry Niven and Steven Barnes

June (5)
In love and war : Kiwi soldiers' romantic encounters in wartime Italy / Susan Jacobs.
Skylark by Jenny Pattrick
The bone house by Stephen R. Lawhead 
The cat's table by Michael Ondaatje
The skin map by Stephen R. Lawhead 

July (3)
The warrior's apprentice by Lois McMaster Bujold. 
The sense of ending by Julian Barnes
The gallery of regrettable food by James Lileks 

August (11)
Rick Stein's Spain by Rick Stein. 
The little coffee shop of Kabul by Deborah Rodriguez 
The tiger's wife by Tia Obreht
The particular sadness of lemon cake by Aimee Bender
Borders of infinity by Lois McMaster Bujold
Born Round: The Secret History of a Full-time Eater by Frank Bruni
Confessions of a coffee group drop out by Eleanor Black
Borders of infinity by Lois McMaster Bujold
Brothers in arms by Lois McMaster Bujold
Strength in what remains by Tracy Kidder
Rick Stein's French odyssey : over 100 new recipes inspired by the flavours of France 

September (5)
Burden of memory by Vicki Delany
The butcher's boy by Thomas Perry
The curse of Chalion by Lois McMaster Bujold
Paladin of souls by Lois McMaster Bujold
Cetaganda by Lois McMaster Bujold

October (7)
Annie's ghosts: a journey into a family secret by Steve Luxenberg
The lost saints of Tennessee by Amy Franklin-Willis
The Invention of Murder: How the Victorians Revelled in Death and Detection and Created Modern Crime by Judith Flanders
The king's damsel by Kate Emerson
The rook by Daniel O'Malley
The body in the Thames by Susanna Gregory
In the shadow of the glacier by Vicki Delany

November (6)
The lion is in by Delia Ephron
Dinner at Rose's by Danielle Hawkins
The midwife of Venice by Roberta Rich
The alchemist's daughter by Katherine McMahon
The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America's Great Migration by Isabel Wilkerson
Murder on Astor Place by Victoria Thompson

December (6)
My Berlin kitchen by Luisa Weiss
Patrick, son of Ireland by Stephen Lawhead
Empty cradles by Margaret Humphries
Waiting for sunrise by William Boyd
Christchurch crimes, 1850-75 : scandal & skulduggery in port & town by Geoffry W. Rice
Uncle Tungsten by Oliver Sacks

Total read: 70
Fiction: 50
Non-fiction: 20

#blog12daysxmas 2 Jan 2013

Another lovely sunny summer day! We tootled up to the Reptile Park at Ti Point and enjoyed a quiet morning wandering around looking at various reptiles (as you might expect). My favorites are the geckos of course, but the tortoises were cool too. I could be happy with a tortoise in my garden I think. The tuatara were not very sociable. We saw one looking out his window, and another had his tail out his door but neither wanted to be famous on my blog with their photo.

We headed back after a picnic lunch at Whangateau where the kids and I had a quick swim. The kids loved testing out their new snorkels and masks. Mr9 got the hang of it pretty quick, Miss5 was a little more hesitant but she became more confident towards the end. They just need more opportunity and practice.

We were glad we returned home when we did because the traffic on SH1 was looking pretty horrendous going north, and I imagine would have been bad this evening.

I came home and tidied up and made a few different zerts to tantalize two awesome librarians that came to visit. A lovely evening was spent nattering and consuming zert. I was thrilled to finally meet Fiona (@FiFiYI) IRL. I heart Twitter for making such things possible.

Work tomorrow mores the pity...

#blog12daysxmas 1 Jan 2013

Wow! What a day 2013 put on for us! Not a cloud in the sky, lovely breeze and warm sun. It makes you glad to be alive. My 365 photo project this year is going to be take a photo of something that makes me happy (http://www.flickr.com/photos/78528924@N00/sets/72157632400301088/with/8332535502/). It's on Flickr and hosted by the awesome Kathryn Greenhill, so if you are keen to join in she is the one to sweet talk. (I doubt there would be a need for too much sweet). You can follow the group on Twitter @Happy365 if you like.

Miss5 got an Ant Colony thingy to make up from her Aunty and of course, it HAD to be made today. I managed to avoid helping because I was washing walls and door frames so Daddy got roped into helping. Setting up was all good but catching ants proved difficult. One doesn't want just any old ant and those little brown bitey ones are definitely not on the invitation list. (In fact, no ant actually is but if there must be ants in this wretched thing it isn't going to be the red ones. In fact, I am of the opinion that this Ant Colony thingy should go and live at Aunty's flat she has just bought. Miss5 is resistant to this notion).

My new ice cream maker was put into action with chocolate mint ice cream churning away in the photo. Yum!

The new ice block maker also works great so I am all set for iced confections now.

Tomorrow I hope to take the family up to the Reptile Park at Ti Point.

#blog12daysxmas Dec 31

I have no desire to see the new year in - I hope to be asleep! So just a quick post.

A lovely breezy day so we mowed the lawn which was starting to get complacent and uppity. We soon fixed that attitude.

Laundry was done and soon dried in the breeze. Much folding of same also achieved.

I iced the cake... To answer Rachel's questions, yes it's a silicon "tin" which works quite well. I don't think that icing it completely looks that nice so I just put some around the base to hide the munted bit at the bottom where I trimmed off the raised part so it would sit flat. I also did some blobs on the towers and around the battlements. It looks quite nice with just icing sugar sprinkled over it like snow.

We spent the evening at my mum and dad's place for a kind of Christmas/ birthday/ New Year / farewell to visitors dinner.

My panna cotta worked well. When I turned it out of the mould my sister and I decided it looked like a slug so we turned it into one.

My sekkrit Santa got me an ice cream maker! I have always wanted one! The bowl is in the freezer as we speak :-)

#blog12daysxmas 30 Dec

So. 2013 draws to a close. Just what will the new year will bring?

Well, I do know it is going to include cake!

Also, I am trying the Blogger app for the iPad so have no idea how this going to format!

Today I did the domestic goddess thing and made a birthday cake and honey and vanilla panna cotta.

And I also felted a bag. And a bangle, sort of. Not sure who or where it will go yet. I think I will do some embellishment on it to make it a bit sparkly.

#blog12daysxmas 28th-29th Dec

DH has a new phone - a Sony Xperia S. Do you think it would be easy to find a cover for it? The answer is no. We traipsed all around West Auckland yesterday trying to find one with no joy. Using the internets we found a place finally to get one today.  Because the phone is white which was a bit too bright for my understated man... black wasn't available at the particular place he wanted to get it from. :-)

Miss5 managed to wreck my washing line by swinging on a rug I had hanging up.  So I had to go on a mercy errand to get some line to mend it.

It is so hot and humid right now so I was very happy to spend my Christmas money on this ice block maker!  Very exciting :-)  If you have something like this, tell me your favourite flavours.

 

I felted a scarf for a friend's birthday next week.

 

Close up

 

I'm very happy with the way it has turned out.  She is in the northern hemisphere so it will be useful right now.  As for me... it's far to hot to wear wool!

Speaking of birthdays - Miss5 turns 6 on the 7th and I'm trying to sort out her birthday bash.  So many people are away on holidays and I don't have her school friend's details.  I'd be very happy for a quiet dinner, but Miss Social Bunny is not so interested in that.  Having said that, I think this will be the last year for a party per se.

I am really enjoying my Kobo Glo.  I purchased one book to try out that side of things and successfully downloaded two ebooks from Auckland Libraries Overdrive offering.  So now... tell me your suggestions for ebook places that epub formats available (free of otherwise).  I know I've used a Sci Fi place before but have forgotten the name...

It's too hot to cook but the lions are clamouring for their dinner.